JUST SNAPPED @littleswallowchinadoll

Happiness is more than a tattoo

And it's here to stay. Don't you love when you live your life philosophy?!

Worried about nothing

In recent times, I've obviously given myself far too much credit for being self aware, because the truth of it is, I've just realised that I am a constant worrier (is that even a word?).

Well, to be specific, if I have to consider others in my actions, that's when I start worrying. When it's just you, you don't have to worry about anything. You don't have to worry about what the future holds, you don't have to worry about minding anybody's feelings, you don't have to worry about whether where you want to go on your next holiday is going to suit anyone.

As soon as you start thinking about other people though, it's all should we be doing this, I wonder if they'll mind doing that, am I being unreasonable if I want to stay here...where does it end?

I'm trying not to "look a gift horse in the mouth" (who the hell comes up with these sayings, really?) because I know that worrying never does any good. But then I start to worry about not worrying about things more - should I be taking this more seriously, should I be thinking more about the future, what if I make the same mistakes, what if I end up pushing everyone away?

Waking up

And just like that another two months slips by.

So this is my last whiny, woe is me post. From here on in it's all blue skies and sunshine because there's no turning back and I know that no matter what happens I will be happy.

Spending a week on holiday with your mum and your best friend when they both live on the other side of the world to you makes you feel like you're finally back on track and simply enjoying being yourself again.

I'm definitely happy to be me.

You know you're loved...

...when a friend sends you a care package with your favourite mints and chocolates just because they know you can't get them in your new home country.

...when a travel buddy sends you actual developed photos of you from a trip you did after you lost all your pictures.

...when the RDog sends you a bunch of CDs with all your music and pics from home burnt onto them after you lost your ipod. Even if you did have to nag for a month to get them!

Love to you all xx

This months challenge is random acts of kindness...

What goes around comes around

There's always this discussion about karma that comes round again and again - do you believe in, don't you believe in it, blah blah blah.

Well I'm going to tell you that karma does exist and it's a BITCH. It will get you every time. Everything is going great, you're wondering what you were ever worried or upset about...and suddenly WHAM! It comes out of the blue and slaps you across the face before grabbing you by the shoulders and yelling "You didn't seriously think you would get away with that did you?".

So here it is, all laid out in front of me. I'm going to cross my fingers, hope for the best, and do what's right. Eventually.

The past catches up

Suddenly the full weight of realisation comes down on me. I’m standing in my bedroom, resplendent with pink sheets that in a past life I would never have gotten away with, thinking “how did it come to this?”.

Im not unhappy. To be fair, life is pretty good. But it does have a certain bizarre quality to it all things considered. More than four years after getting married, here I am on the other side of the world, two weeks into a new job, four weeks into a new lease, in an all girls share house, with a quarter of the wardrobe I once had, and about a quarter of the money I once had too. And very, very alone.

Not literally of course. Theres always someone to keep you company if you want it, always something to do and somewhere to go. But keeping busy doesnt always mean your mind stays occupied too. Sometimes it likes to do its own thing, wander off oblivious to your protests to stay in the present. And you start to wonder, how did things get to the point where all you could see was the bad? How did your judgment get so clouded that you couldnt see all the good things that you should have fought for? How is it that so much later when the dust has settled, all you can remember are the good things you threw away?

It's time to start getting on with life.

Happy Birthday to Me

Finally back in the "real" world and looking for a job (ugh). Time to be an adult again (not a very good example of one, but still, at least I'm giving it a shot).

I have this sneaking suspicion that I will look 20 until I'm 50 and then I'll suddenly look 100. Better make the most of it I guess!

Home cooking

So it's been over 5 months on the road, and the thing I've realised I miss the most is having a kitchen. I think that says a lot about me!